Authors Note Portfolio 3...

Blog your author's note for the portfolio. This one will be more detailed because it will cover the connections among your three pieces and the rhetorical choices you made:

Letter to the Editor: In this part of the portfolio I introduce the article where I found/made my argument. Six Flags is a well known theme park that is struggling, just like many businesses, that tried something new to gain profit. I introduce the idea of how serving beer would help their business and how it could be done. I then mention how the TABC has decided to pass the request for permit and conclude with how the decision will affect only those who choose to go. This portion is mostly ethos, that adds how I feel on the subject in my own words/concerns.

Op-Ed: In the Op-Ed I apply the use of pathos and logos. I provide pathos by giving quotes from Six Flags officals as well as Judge Cooper who decided the final outcome of the situation. I feel my Op-Ed is very strong and well written because I give logical reasoning supported by statistics and pathos. I include personal stories to help give the op-ed a little umpf as well. I also feel that my conclusion is short, but to the point of what I had said throughtout the article.

Humorous: For my humorous argument I choose to use the "More XflagsX Beer. More Fun" advertisement I had been talking about. I think it clearly states my point and how I stand on the subject. I provide an obviously changed advertisement that is effective because you notice the words undernearth the X'ed out word flags that are replaced by the word Beer, which is in the same font/format. I like the idea the ad had from the start and think its very effective.

Humorous Author's Note...

I decided to go with the Six Flags advertisement. I changed the words from "More Flags. More Fun." to "More (crossed out with red x Flags) Beer. More Fun." I feel that this argues for the fact that beer being served at the theme park will make it a better time/experience. It is effective because it mirrors the actual six flags advertisement, so you know its a six flags oriented advertisment, but with the play on words its more effective. I might add one or two more things, such as a beer mug over the flags or instead Six $ A'Pop...something of that sort. Please let me know if you have any ideas or concerns about my image. Thanks

Humor Point...

For my humor piece I chose to make an advertisement featuring the creepy old man, Mr. Six, the sort of mascot you have seen on the TV commercials for the Six Flags theme parks. Im somehow going to include the notion of drinking now being available at the theme parks including Mr. Six and a catchy phrase. Another idea I thought about would be editing a small video clip featuring the commercial with the old man dancing and the annoying music playing in the background, a much more effective/noticeable approach because people will recognize the theme park a lot easier. Overall I think extreme exaggeration and puns will play a funny part in my humorous part.

Humor Argument...

Blog about how the sample you found uses humor to address its topic:
The show in general is a play on words almost every show, with guest appearances by famous people here and there. On the South Park episode about fishsticks, they are using a play on words throughout the show. Timmy and Eric create a joke that everyone seems to like, but its so dumb its funny. Sometimes this method works because it catches peoples attention because of the wording, but then they take it to the next level by makin a whole episode about fishsticks. Their method of consistently repeating the word, fishsticks, throughout the episode causes you to remember the subject matter pretty well (which is a good idea if your trying to tell a specific thing to an audience or keep them interested). I also notice this method elsewhere in magazines and commercials, and it seems to work pretty well for visual use as well. The pun/play on words and repeating it causes it to stick in your mind for quite a long time, useful like I said.

Op-Ed Authors Note...

In my Op-Ed I chose to be for the idea of Six Flags obtaining an alcohol permit. Its a great source of profit for the park, and a great time for the attendees. Maybe the park is trying to aim its attraction to older individuals who wish to drink but have never had the place, well now they do. I chose to talk about the spokeswoman of Six Flags and their outlook on the situation. Then I wanted to mention TABC and their standing on the idea. I next include the offical decision by the judge who overlooked the appeals and the case, with some of her quotes as great back up passages. Using some of the things she said in her quotes I analyzed them and added my point of view/argument on them to give back up support. I also chose to mention how the park will have patrons drinking outside then going in, which has been going on for years now, and even threw in my own story about how I used to during high school. Overall, I feel this is a strong piece that gets to the point, adds personal touch, and gives supportive detail.

Op-Ed Prewriting...

Unit Three Op-Ed Prewriting:
Read several op-eds from your chosen venue. What are the general tone and assumed audience in this venue? What is interesting or unique about these pieces?
Mainly parents. They decide if their kids, whom make up most of the attendance at the theme parks, will be allowed to attend. They could be worried that their kids will be able to drink. They could also worry about other drunks messing or teasing their kids, etc. Gang members become an issue at the park, even more so when alcohol is involved. It is interesting because TABC already passed the permit license so Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor will continue to sell beer, but will this affect the parks outcome and attendance?
Decide one specific, identifiable issue or question for your focus. It needs to be related to your overall topic for this unit, but try to target a specific aspect of that topic. Describe your choice of specific topic:
Would I let my kids attend these theme parks without my supervision? No; there are many reasons why not – drunks at park, drunks driving, throwing up, fighting, gang involvement, etc.
Choose a specific course of action or approach to be taken to addressing that issue or question. Don’t just say that a policy or situation is bad. Tell your readers what should be done about it.
Texas alcohol permits are not that hard to obtain. With today’s people, we are constantly changing the way we respond to abstinence and avoidance of alcohol/drugs, yet right here is a perfect example of what we try to avoid. Alcohol at an open theme park like Six Flags will create issues for the park. Gang members will now have a fun hang out to drink at. Drunks will be getting on and off the roller coasters, and I’m sure they will get the spins and end up throwing up. It seems today’s economy has driven our thoughts to change, but in negative ways. Six Flags wants the permit to make money off of by selling the beer, people know this (and that they are overpriced) but they still attend and support by purchasing.
Determine what rhetorical appeals will be most effective for your audience (ethos, pathos, logos, style). Discuss what appeals you will use.
Ethos – I want to mention I am a student, but from my point of view if I had a child this is what I would do…
Pathos – Apply emotional appeal and points of argument/scenarios that could happened at Six Flags/Hurricane Harbor to make parents think logically about the situation
Logos – Apply facts and make claim against the idea of selling alcohol at Six Flags/Hurricane
Style – I want to approach this op-ed with a “parental” point of view. I wish to state firmly what I would do if my child was in a situation like this and how I would act. I also want to include facts to support my argument from a “parents’” point of view.
Write about what will best support your points for the rhetorical situation (facts, hard evidence, personal experience, anecdotes, referring to other authorities, etc.).
Facts – will give the trustworthiness to the op-ed
Hard evidence – relate to stories/facts
Personal Experience – gang stories at Six Flags in Houston; gives pathos here also
Is there any research that you need to do?
I could do some about the selling of alcohol at theme parks to find some logistics. I could also find some stuff about Astro World in Houston…maybe see why it closed/reasons

Letter to the Editor - Vol 1/Vers 1

To Paul Harral:

            The article, “Six Flags Over Texas, Hurricane Harbor get alcohol permits,” is clearly about the decision to legalize the distribution and consumption of alcohol in the Six Flags Over Texas and Hurricane Harbor theme parks located in Arlington, TX.

            According to the article Six Flags has decided to obtain an alcohol permit in order to sell only beer. I believe selling only beer will provide a calmer atmosphere than the selling of liquor because it is a known factor that individuals become drunker, faster when they decide to drink liquor. Therefore, Six Flags has jumped that main issue by only serving beer in certain locations throughout the park. In an attempt to take the necessary precautions, both theme parks have posted signs and placed fences in certain “drinking” areas in order to keep those individuals whom are drinking in a designated area. Six Flags also provides different cups in order to tell what is inside the cups they are drinking in order to help their security officers know if they are dealing with an intoxicated individual.

            Most importantly are the beneficial factors it holds for the public and the Six Flags theme park. While some choose not to drink when going out in public with their family because of the environment they are in, Six Flags leaves that option open to the individual now by providing this service. Not all older-peoples enjoy going on crazy rollercoaster rides, so they need their buzz somehow while their kids get to enjoy the theme park.  For Six Flags, this opens a new side of the theme park to making money off alcohol while providing professional serving of the beer. It will allow the theme park to make a good general revenue just based of the serving of alcohol alone, and at $6 a pop for a 16-oz they will be making a good income. It is a known fact that allowing the sales and consumption of alcohol at other theme parks has been known to work and has provided a better general income for the parks.

            The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has denied the request to hold a new public hearing on the concern, therefore it has been stated and clearly, that Six Flags will continue to serve beer to its patrons in an effort to fulfill its guest’s requests. 

I feel that this could be a great thing for the park. It will invite thousands of older participants whom might not normally attend, but now they might have a stronger pull to. Instead of having to drink somewhere else, now they can drink in the actual park. Overall, I feel that this decision will provide a better general income for the park, without hurting the attendees or safety of those around them.

Mason.j.moss@tcu.edu

 

Authors Note: In this letter to the editor (vol 1) I feel that I clearly state the issue at hand in the first sentence. I then try to give the pros surrounding the issue and how the park is dealing with the current status of the park by changing it to make ready for the new permits (posting signs and fences). I try to give as much of the precautions the park has taken into choice in order to provide the feeling of safety at the park, which is the only thing, other individuals who are not drinking should be worried about. Overall I feel I recap well and try to place in the TABC factor to provide the decision regarding the permit.

 

Letter to the Editor - Prewriting

Summarize W/ Out Opinion: This article is about the decision to legalize the distribution and consumption of alcohol in the Six Flags Over Texas and Hurricane Harbor theme parks located in Arlington, TX.

 

Complete Rhetorical Analysis Chart for Original Article:

 

What appeals work best with the target audience: Logos – the article gives the logistics and facts that support the reason for Six Flags legalizing the distribution and consumption of alcohol within these two parks (Six Flags Over Texas and Hurricane Harbor). I think logos would be the best because it provides the logic behind the situation and what they are trying to do, based off facts and quotes provided by Six Flags officials.

 

What are the strengths and weaknesses of the argument?

Strengths – Provides important legal officials and their points of view; strong quotes; reliable information

Weaknesses – Provides the issue that some people were against the legalization, yet they were shut down by the final decisions

Write a brief narrative of your own experience with or stake in the topic: I feel that this could be a great thing for the park. It will invite thousands of older participants whom might not normally attend, but now they might have a stronger pull to. Instead of having to drink somewhere else, now they can drink in the actual park. Overall, I feel that this decision will provide a better general income for the park, without hurting the attendees or safety of those around them.

Write a brief statement of your position in comparison to the author’s:

• I am supporting his position with additional information…by noting that allowing the sales and consumption of alcohol at other theme parks has been known to work and has provided a better general income for the parks.
• I disagree with him on these points…about the price because I feel it may be too high.
• I believe his argument is weak because it doesn’t consider…fake ID’s and dealing with them. 

Unit 3: Topic

Topic: I chose to write about 6 Flags Over Texas obtaining an alcohol permit for its theme park and sister water park Hurricane Harbor.

How it impacts the community: This could be a positive or negative thing for the local community, depending upon how you view drinking at theme parks.

How it affects you personally: Personally, I enjoy going to theme parks as often as I can (which isn't that often), but I don't think drinking and roller coasters are a good mix.

Draft 2 Development...

Blog about how your rhetorical case study has developed from the previous drafts:
In this draft I changed up my intro paragraph a little bit, by adding how Phelps decision making skills has affected his whole life.
In the next paragraph I chose to keep the one about the night the event took place and the picture was taken, I felt this was important to keep because it would give background of the event. From here I chose to introduce how it has been affecting him as a professional swimmer both in and out of the pool, along with the consequences at hand.
Then I mention the DUI and how that affected him compared to this second legal trouble that he has had to deal with.
To add some pathos, I mention the story of myself and my little cousin watching the Beijing Olympics and how being a role model requires responsabilties.
Next paragraph I bring up the question of why Phelps hit the bong. I go into detail with quotes from Phelps concerning the public's questions and why, basically that it was a mistake that he regrets doing.
Overall I felt this draft was much better and had more analysis than the first, although I feel that more anaysis could be done. Hopefully I can wrap it up into a good paper.

Phelps - Draft 1 - Author's Note

In this draft I feel that I have a better opening that applies to the rhetorical appeals. I try to compare how Phelp's life was before all of this media attack of his scandalus photograph. I think overall I know what I have to write and how I plan on writing it, its just difficult to put it into words sometimes. I also feel that the length needs to be longer. I hope this draft has a better overall rhetorical analysis and that it fits the requirements. -M.M.

Two Body Sections...

In my first body paragraph I try to appeal to the pathos, involving the family issues and how the controversy has begun to harm not only Phelps, but his family also. By doing this I will connect with the reader to apply the 'homey' feeling one gets when they too could have been involved in a related issue or have problems that affect the household. I choose to use strong quotes that back up Phelps reasoning and how he has been feeling these past few weeks during all this. I then mention Phelps feelings that he gets about swimming and how much he loves it, applying these feelings also to the pathos. 

In the next body paragraph I chose to talk about the person who is trying to charge Michael Phelps. I use a few quotes from his opening to the public where he awnsered their questions. I feel that this gives the reader logos, by giving the reader 'evidence' that the Sheriff was trying to charge him with and why. I feel that these paragraphs might not have been rhetorical enough so I will  mabye shorten them, keeping the rhetorical appealing parts and apply them at a different part in my paper. 

Pre-writing for Rhetorical Paper...

1. What connects your sources?
a. They all revolve around the on-going story of Michael Phelps smoking out of a pipe that was released by a British Newspaper. Some give detailed information about the swimmer and what his family is going through. Others are blogs where people give their personal views on the situation and how it should/should not affect him in positive/negative ways. The blog is a fan based site, so it gives information from his supporters. Another source actually breaks down the events and how they have turned out. They start with the night it happened and then the processes Phelps has been going through to clear his name of this mistake. This is the story/idea that Phelps, as a national hero and 14-gold medalist, who was at the University of South Caroline partying when he decided to make a mistake that someone happened to take a picture of, then they released the picture for $100,000 to a British Newspaper who publicized the photograph, in turn causing the whole world to discover this shocking picture.
2. Order of the sources:
a. Fox News – gives the whole story; how it began and what occurred
b. NORML – gives a good view on Kellogg and their part of the story (dropping sponsorship)
c. SwimRoom.Com – gives Phelps personal blog; as well as peoples blogs and their reactions on Michaels situation
3. Why is this organization going to be effective:
a. It will provide the whole story from the start as not to mix up any details. Then the NORML will continue the argument why Kellogg Co. decided to drop him from sponsorship. Lastly, the swimroom.com will provide Michael’s personal statements about the situation, followed by his fan/supporters statements about his developing story.
4. How do you plan to transition between your sources?
a. From source 1 I will mention the situation as a whole. When the issue of his sponsors dropping him arrives, I will switch to source three. From there Ill mention source 3, this is Phelps’ national apology and his fans’ views on the blog site.

How my perspective on this issue/topic has developed as I’ve been researching and analyzing my sources…

I've begun to develop an overall idea about my perspective on this issue/topic. I notice that as an American Hero, Phelps should not be banished. He holds more gold metals than any athlete in the world, shattering world records in the pool. He is a young adult, who made a mistake, but a costly one at that. He realized that what he chose to do that night at the party was wrong, and that it should never happen again by a world-wide apology given by himself at a press conference and online videos. It has effected Phelps and his family in a negative light, losing some of his sponsors and even his "right" to swim in US swimming meets for three months. I think his few mistakes (DUI, POM) have both taught him many valuable lessons that, hopefully, he will learn from. There are many articles saying this, but even after his DUI he promised no more mistakes like these, yet another appears a year (or less?) later. As an American citizen, I see his fault in allowing these pictures to be taken of him, but he is a youthful 23 year old who is only trying to live. Its also interesting to take notice of which of his sponsors stayed and which left him. 

Research Experiences...

what did you discover during your research?

I discovered the Michael Phelps is banned from USA swimming for three months. I also found out that 8 people were arrested, and some charged, who were at the party where the picture of Phelps smoking was taken. So far he has not been charged with anything and it looks like they will not have proof of him actually smoking. He also publicly apologized to the US and all his sponsors, as well as the whole republic of China and its people. The person who took the picture sold it for $100,000 grand to a British Newspaper, who were the first to publicize the picture. The person who’s pipe (bong) it was in the picture is also being charged and/or arrested for trying to sell it online on EBay.

how do the sources cover your topic?

They cover the topic in general detail as not much information has been released. This is an on-going story that continues to develop almost every couple hours. It’s neat to not keep up with the story and check every few days to see how the story is developing.

what connections do you see among the sources and the way they approach the topic?

I noticed they all tend to use a positive outlook on Phelps. While some seem more realistic with their material, they still shed positive light on him. A lot of stories have personal quotes from Phelps himself, and the Sheriff who is “charging” Phelps. It’s interesting to read the information about the Sheriff and how he is seen as a negative factor in the story/how he is viewed as a person. 

2/25 Unit Two Concerns About Sources

Concerns:
1. Which one provides the best/greatest amount of information?
2. Which has the best quotations?
3. Which has the most reliable/most trustworth information?
4. Are they all "primary" ?

Primary Sources:
1. Fox News - It is a trusted news station/paper that provides real/reliable information; provides reliable information about the subject with up to the hour articles about the matter at hand; There are numerous quotes, as well as comidic parts about the sheriff, that provide an in depth look at the on-going case
2. Baltimore Sun - Well known newspaper site; This source has great information about the possibility of Phelps not returning to the Olympics and that his plans are for the future are up in the air; I noticed great quotes from Michael Phelps himself throughout the article, as well as an overview of the controversy and how it has been affecting him and his family
3. Swimming Site (Phelps blog) - It has Phelps exact words; This site is a swimmers forum that provides real world accounts of the issue of Michael smoking at hand; It has his own blog and people's comments on the case; I noticed people all have different views about the issues of marijuana and professional athletes

Unit 2: Topic

I've decided that my topic will be the E-Cigarette. I think this will be an interesting topic that can be applied locally. In some parts of Texas "smoking" cigarettes is illegal, well what if your cigarette didnt "smoke"? The E-Cigarette could start a worldwide phenominon, helping people cut back on their smoking and also saving the earth. There are many approaches that I can take to this and apply it locally, as well as the broader rhetorical situation surrounding the issue. Smoking has been a national problem here in the U.S. for many years. The tobacco companies are the industry, but our government makes a profit off of each pack of cigarettes sold by taxing them. Since the "No taxation without representation..." history we all learned about the tyrants rulling by taxing. Well the U.S. Government is doing just that, making money off taxing. Its an interesting topic because I can apply it locally and say how it has effected TCU students. I have several friends who smoke so it should be easy to hear their points of views, and I have heard people voice their concerns about smoking on campus and how it should not be allowed. 

Authors Note for Portfolio...

In my final draft I have changed things up quite a bit. After realizing I needed to change my paper up to fit the requirements better I decided to change some things. I now feel that my paper has a better focus with its arguments, as well as a much better description of the actual zoo. I go more into detail about the place by describing the buildings and settings I witnessed. I mention the location and how this helps the zoo attract visitors. Next I talk about the zoo's billboard located on University/Colonial Parkway and how this is a visual argument calling peoples attention. Then I propose how being a member can save you money and why its the best value at the zoo. I give a prime example of my day at the zoo and how it can be very non-cost efficent. With my personal courosity I talk about the visitors, or audience, that attends and why these people choose to come here. Last but not least I choose to talk about how the Fort Worth Zoo is helping generate the city revenue, while preserving species from extinction.

Workshop Feedback...

The oldest continuous standing Texas zoo is located right here, in Fort Worth-This is very interesting – maybe describe why you believe it is the oldest/has lasted as long as it has

I think you can also expand on the history of the zoo and what is has done for Fort Worth as a community and how you, as a college student, have been affected. 

• I like this idea because I could focus my argument about the economics of the community and how it could effect the zoo, added to the fact that the zoo once was going under, but turned around and got sponsors (money); or I could just elaborate more on the facts/history of the zoo...

 I think having a membership entitles you to so much more; it allows you to realize that you hold the power to a lot of useful information, What has it been like to be a member of this community?

• I like this idea because I could say my personal reasons for becoming a member and how it has affected my view of the zoo.

I also plan to add more description about the the zoo itsself, the surrounding area, where it is located, the signs, smells, and possible tastes that are located at the zoo as well. Then I plan on mentioning how the high prices could effect the zoo in possible negative ways and what it could mean for the local community.

Draft 1: Authors Note

In Draft I decided to organize my paper to see how the flow would go.  I feel that the argument->Inference/Analysis: discuss for each of 2-3 arguments you’re focusing on…Would work the best, using my two most powerful arguments as my “topic” of each paragraph then breaking them down with smaller but interesting points. I chose to talk about the money factors at the zoo and the economic decision factors one must make while attending. In my first draft I didnt get to talk much about the rest of my paper and the other main arguments I was choosing. I also want to argue the knowledge/conservation issues that the zoo holds and how they are great attributes to the local schools of Fort Worth. Please let me know any ideas you might have or helpful hints, thanks.